Causticity's Place

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Breaking News!

The Bailout failed yesterday. Hooray! As we speak, George Bush is bulldozing the rose garden and planting thousands of these:


Please send any additional Miracle Grow that you may have laying around to:

The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20500.
They're gonna need it!

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Welcome to...


WTF?! In July you said our economy was basically sound.







Here it is September and now we're in danger? Just one more lie knotched onto the bedpost of this Administration.



Obviously, we were in danger in July and that statement was made to help Wallstreet feel better. Now you want to bailout those greedy bastards, so they can go back to making more profits? On the backs of American taxpayers yet? How is it our fault greed got us into this mess, and how is it our fault people are too stupid to figure out they can't afford the mortgages they signed on the dotted lines for? What ever happened to people making mistakes and accepting the consequences of those mistakes??



Georgie Porgie has nothing to lose. His approval numbers can't get much lower, and if this bailout fails...he'll still be sitting back in Texas relaxing with his feet up while one of the new schmucks tries their hand at getting us out of this mess.

Welcome to the United Socialist States of America!!!! Lose your shirt, lose your house? No worries! We'll bail your sorry ass out!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Future of Healthcare


Mental Health Outsourcing
I was depressed last night, so I called Lifeline.
Got connected to a call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Coming out of the closet...


Yes folks, I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan and proud of it. What little respect I've gained from my friends and readers has probably vanished, but I don't care. No I haven't jumped on the bandwagon. I've been a Cowboys fan since I was knee high to a grasshopper and I've stood by them through thick and thin. The million dollar question that everyone asks is 'how do you become a Cowboys fan living in Pennsylvania'? Well, I grew up smack dab in the middle of PA out in the middle of nowhere. No one really heard of the Eagles because they are perpetual losers (yes, jab intended). Eagles fans are annually let down year after year, and they still haven't won the big one. Did you know pharmaceutical industry statistics jump each year in December and January for depression medications here in Eastern Pennsylvania? ;) Anyway, back to my story...and I just didn't hop on the Steelers success in the 70's. So here I am a loyal Cowboys fan and I'm finding myself in a quandary.

Back in November 2005 I wrote a post Egomaniac lamb basting a certain someone who is now on our team. Yes, I'm talking about Mr. T.O. Most didn't think the marriage would last including myself, but here we are in 2008 and he has become an integral part of this team and their recent success. How can I forgive someone that has repeatedly dissed the star and acted so immaturely?

At one time I hated this guy for his selfishness and antics. I'll give the guy credit, he is a great football player. Whatever has happened, it seems to be working. Whether he has finally matured, actually learned his lesson or is just handcuffed by numerous clauses in his contract to behave, his spotlessness continues to be a mystery. I secretly find myself rooting for him during games. I feel so dirty and hypocritical. I've never lived by the philosophy of do whatever it takes to win and personally, I think Jerry Jones is the devil in disguise. So this season I will be once again 'getting my popcorn ready' and sitting on the couch wondering to myself; where do I go from here?